Fashion style

High-heeled crocodiles are a fashion crime and must be stopped

This is not a hateful Crocs piece. Let’s get that out of the way first. It is, however, a call not to give in to the high-heeled crocs created by Balenciaga as part of its spring / summer 2022 collection.

The stiletto crocodile is available in green or black (Credit: Balenciaga)

When writer, podcaster and former wardrobe mistress Pandora Sykes tweeted a Croc Stiletto recall on Twitter after the shoe appeared in the magazine last week. The Sunday style, it aroused a lot of emotions …

We mean, is this where are we ?

So-called “ugly” accessories can be on trend, and we encourage everyone to embrace the strong and shameless in their personal style – but the high heeled Croc cannot be accepted as the new trend.

Pandora Sykes didn't even have words for the shoe (Credit: Twitter / PINSykes)
Pandora Sykes didn’t even have words for the shoe (Credit: Twitter / PINSykes)

Firstly, they are only available in bright green or ash black, AKA the less interesting Croc colors. How about a pretty pastel purple or a Hollywood Glamor red? I understand this is Balenciaga so they might not want to go for a touch of pink but a dusty solid black or ghost hunter slimy green? Not in it.

Also, if you want to make a Croc stylus, you have to do it with all your heart. The design of Balenciaga’s high heel Crocs does not engage with how unique Crocs can be a fashion staple.

Remember that cute little cartoon crocodile that was on the side?

It is now replaced by the single name Balenciaga. The heel itself doesn’t feel out of place with the rest of the shoe. It looks like black scaffolding rather than the ultimate color and heel-matched texture to literally take your old gardening shoes to new heights.

RIP to this cute little crocodile, we will miss you (Credit: Alamy)
RIP to this cute little crocodile, we will miss you (Credit: Alamy)

The campaign missed another round. If you’re going to do a high-heeled Croc, you’re obviously hoping to tap into the irony and tackiness and transcend to new levels of camp style. You want your outfit to be able to laugh at itself.

Which begs the question, where are the jibbitz?

You know those plastic charms and gems you accessorize your Crocs with? Everyone knows they bring a whole new layer of garishness to your look …

Make haute couture jibbitz!  (Credit: Alamy)
Make haute couture jibbitz! (Credit: Alamy)

If there was a time for jibbitz, it would be now. Imagine a big Balenciaga “B” charm, or rhinestones adorning your heeled crocodile? Now this would be a fashion statement.

The Heeled Croc had potential. Damn, we might have even bought a pair …

But alas, they just put an old Croc on a stick and tried to whip it for £ 800.

£ 800 ?! For a glorified shoe that I put on to take out the trash ?! Spare us, please.

Don’t be angry, just demand better for your feet.

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Hazel J. Edmonds

The author Hazel J. Edmonds

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